Being away.

Hey there.

I don't know whether I am being so self-centered or not. But, I seem to enjoy writing on my blog even with the fact that nobody will ever read. But what to do.. I love writing! It's just that I've been busy with university stuff. Speaking of university, whoever said degree life is not going to be hectic, surrender yourself! Because it really is. Half of me is struggling with this current life I'm living. I mean, I am grateful for this blessing to study here but I get tired easily nowadays. Despite the jetlag I was suffering the other day, I slept early at around 8 pm. But, I'm recovering now hehe. 

Back to the business, I am so happy here. Not gonna lie that being a minority group here (being a Malaysian) is hard. I tend to force myself to squeeze in the group of local people here because if not, they're not going to talk to you the day after that. I gotta try to have a topic of the conversation. Once it's ended due to my awkward response, I have to be fast enough to divert into another topic. Man, buying birthday presents for my family are not this hard okay. But, you know there's always a silver lining about this. This has taught me to be true and be brave enough to say Hi and introduce myself. Instead of being silent and not knowing what to talk about, I just need to break the silence and just ask questions as simple as "how's your day going?". Yep, because they keep asking me that question every time we come across each other so why not? Hehe. But a simple act of kindness may create something huge right. Also, living in a student accommodation there are lots of local students here and they seem really nice and accepting. But being an Asian as I am, I tend to do everything by myself. I don't know why maybe it's just me being so multi-tasking so I prefer doing everything at a time and alone. I enjoy socializing and engaging with people but sometimes you just need a me time. If you get me, come and give me a virtual hug. 

Regarding my family, even since I'm here, my mother never fails to ask about me and my day. Facetime, Whatsapp, Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram etc. You name it - she uses every social media to engage with me. This is why I love Internet! Haha my mother is busted. Now I realize that being thousands miles away from your family, you're just making your family miss you even more and everything makes me teary when I first got here. My first phone call with Mum also made me shed tears because she wanted to sleep already. Different timezone really sucks. Also, writing a birthday speech for her made me cry. And then, I noticed that my father didn't even hug me for so long on the day I left - literally only 3 seconds. He was being strong as he always is, we assumed. But, I could see that he just wanted me to see how strong he was and let me be stronger. Put aside all the ego, he's being a gem even more after I left. He's always home compared to before. He's good at buying groceries and fruits when Mum's not around. He basically continues what I always do at home minus being sleepy at all times part. My brothers always gives my mum a company whenever she needs one without any sigh or complaints even for a small reason. Somehow, I feel that my departure brings everyone together.

Talking about E, he's doing just fine there in Sheffield. OK, people say it's not a valid long distance relationship if you're in the same country. But 300 miles away from each other is a long distance already! As usual, we keep our conversations simple and minimal because both of us have assignment and work to do in a day. I love us being like this, know our priorities and which should come first. Hopefully, we get to reunite in December during winter break. Overall, I love being here in Bristol. I tend to make a lot of self-development and also develop my cooking skills - okay, gotta talk more about this later. I also have some Malaysian friends here and also make me accompanied during weekends - so, don't worry guys I still have my social life to run.

Dayana