Being away.

Hey there.

I don't know whether I am being so self-centered or not. But, I seem to enjoy writing on my blog even with the fact that nobody will ever read. But what to do.. I love writing! It's just that I've been busy with university stuff. Speaking of university, whoever said degree life is not going to be hectic, surrender yourself! Because it really is. Half of me is struggling with this current life I'm living. I mean, I am grateful for this blessing to study here but I get tired easily nowadays. Despite the jetlag I was suffering the other day, I slept early at around 8 pm. But, I'm recovering now hehe. 

Back to the business, I am so happy here. Not gonna lie that being a minority group here (being a Malaysian) is hard. I tend to force myself to squeeze in the group of local people here because if not, they're not going to talk to you the day after that. I gotta try to have a topic of the conversation. Once it's ended due to my awkward response, I have to be fast enough to divert into another topic. Man, buying birthday presents for my family are not this hard okay. But, you know there's always a silver lining about this. This has taught me to be true and be brave enough to say Hi and introduce myself. Instead of being silent and not knowing what to talk about, I just need to break the silence and just ask questions as simple as "how's your day going?". Yep, because they keep asking me that question every time we come across each other so why not? Hehe. But a simple act of kindness may create something huge right. Also, living in a student accommodation there are lots of local students here and they seem really nice and accepting. But being an Asian as I am, I tend to do everything by myself. I don't know why maybe it's just me being so multi-tasking so I prefer doing everything at a time and alone. I enjoy socializing and engaging with people but sometimes you just need a me time. If you get me, come and give me a virtual hug. 

Regarding my family, even since I'm here, my mother never fails to ask about me and my day. Facetime, Whatsapp, Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram etc. You name it - she uses every social media to engage with me. This is why I love Internet! Haha my mother is busted. Now I realize that being thousands miles away from your family, you're just making your family miss you even more and everything makes me teary when I first got here. My first phone call with Mum also made me shed tears because she wanted to sleep already. Different timezone really sucks. Also, writing a birthday speech for her made me cry. And then, I noticed that my father didn't even hug me for so long on the day I left - literally only 3 seconds. He was being strong as he always is, we assumed. But, I could see that he just wanted me to see how strong he was and let me be stronger. Put aside all the ego, he's being a gem even more after I left. He's always home compared to before. He's good at buying groceries and fruits when Mum's not around. He basically continues what I always do at home minus being sleepy at all times part. My brothers always gives my mum a company whenever she needs one without any sigh or complaints even for a small reason. Somehow, I feel that my departure brings everyone together.

Talking about E, he's doing just fine there in Sheffield. OK, people say it's not a valid long distance relationship if you're in the same country. But 300 miles away from each other is a long distance already! As usual, we keep our conversations simple and minimal because both of us have assignment and work to do in a day. I love us being like this, know our priorities and which should come first. Hopefully, we get to reunite in December during winter break. Overall, I love being here in Bristol. I tend to make a lot of self-development and also develop my cooking skills - okay, gotta talk more about this later. I also have some Malaysian friends here and also make me accompanied during weekends - so, don't worry guys I still have my social life to run.

Dayana

Miracles do happen.

Dear readers

I have good news, Praise be to Allah. 

In previous posts, I told you guys that I was going to sit for A-Levels examination. And it has been almost 3 months that I've waited for the results to be announced.

Praise be to Allah. They sent us the results already on 10th of August. I am really satisfied with the results. All my hard work has been paid off. I never thought I would achieve it and I am still clueless what did I do to deserve this. All the sweats, tears, hearts and souls I've been putting while studying, I can finally say that I'm done with A-Levels. 

Praise be to Allah. Final university offer has been announced today. Also, I received good news again. InsyaAllah, I am going to enroll in University of Bristol soon. I couldn't be more grateful to have such good support system like my beloved family and friends. They are a part of my life and I love them so much! Remind me if I ever forget that one day - maybe I will if my brothers start to misbehave. They can be really mean and ignorant sometimes, I hate it. I can't imagine meeting new people like them, I will slap them if I have to - no, I don't have the courage

As for my placement in the university, InsyaAllah I will be flying off to the UK in September. Haha, it's funny how very little my readers will read this. But never mind, just gonna state it here just in case I forget haha. Anyway, I will update soon for the details. 

The sad part about flying off, you don't get to meet your family and close friends as often as you do now. Even on the first day I enrolled in my college 2 years ago, I actually cried when my parents waved me good byes and drove away. Soon, they will see me walking away and the moment I pass through that X-ray section for our hand luggage, that will be the last time they ever see me unless if they are excited enough to chase me at the hallway upstairs - because that's what I always do when sending off my friend at the airport haha. Despite the excitement to further my studies abroad, I feel quite sad to leave everything behind. Come on, we only get to bring a 30 kg luggage with us - I start to picture myself squeezing the clothes for usual days and in preparation for winter season. Not only that, E will be enrolling in a university 180 miles away from me. I know you guys would probably think that it's not as far as being away from my family in Malaysia. But, 4 hours journey by the train is not a joke man. We will probably just wait till the day we come back to Malaysia for break.

Dayana

Either ups or downs;

You never come during both.

Become extra ordinary.

Hello people.

Okay, relax guys. I haven't finished my exam yet. It's just a reason for me to turn on my laptop other than, searching for past years objective questions. I know I'll regret after writing this. Because typing a new post doesn't take me about an hour or two. But, forever! 

Do you know that there is time when everything was thrown at you and all you have to do is just accepting it? Either good or bad. Just because you don't want to ruin other people's feelings around you. I hate it when it happens. Especially when it just includes a person. A person whom you think it's okay to be silly sometimes. I figured out maybe it's okay to be annoying, but maybe not for too long. Because I tell you what Mr., I am a person with a patience limit. Everyone has. It's just them who get to decide whether they should show it or not. When people try so hard to be nice with you, just appreciate, can't you? In the first place, I admit it was a joke. I could see that. But, enough is enough okay. Other people have feelings too. Doesn't mean your heart is fragile, make mine isn't. It's unfair when you can get mad at all things with no cost, while me, you just put it aside and think about it later.

So, here it is. I think this is the equality that people should be thinking of. It's not about how women should be put first. Not that I question about why do men should rule? It's the right thing to do in Islam, that's for sure. What I mean here is, women should not be discriminated. We have feelings and we have choice too. Don't ever step on women's head just because they seem weaker than you. We're not. We're just soft and we were created like that. I'm proud of all those women who had achieved so much in their life and get to decide in every decision making. Those women are inspiring. I hope one day I'll have such courage to do the same thing. E once told me to become extra ordinary. Ouch, haven't I became extra ordinary to you? But, I know by "extra ordinary", he meant that I should get out of my comfort zone and out of my nutshell without anyone telling me to do so. A person with vision. With that carried on your shoulder, people will have a little respect on you.

The next day, I instantly browsed through some Ladies' Kickboxing training centres. I don't know why I chose that activity which I know I'll complain a lot after attending my first class haha. Probably because my brother is also currently joining kickboxing program and he told us so many good things about it. So, I was kind of attracted to the name also the photos look convincing that I can break anyone's bones one day (though I know that I'll break my own bones haha). But, let's see how it goes. I am thinking to start the class after Raya. So, I told E about this idea. Don't know why he still doesn't reply me back....

Dayana

I am the real beast.

Yes, I've posted a post just now. But I didn't get enough of yesterday's incidents yet. A miserable day but yet, ended with a beautiful story line I promise.

It was Friday, yesterday. So, my friends and I booked movie tickets for Beauty and the Beast! We wanted to be the early birds to watch it. Unfortunately, on the same day, at the wrong timing, my car engine could not start. I was really panicked, of course. I'm in Seremban and my parents are not here. I never had this experience of calling people to repair the car engine or something before. But we went to watch the movie first. We didn't miss out few scenes, even the first 5 seconds of the movie. After the movie ended, only then I figured out some ways. You know, they say it's time to get help from your boyfriend. This is the time they get very useful even if they tend to be very annoying on a daily basis. So, E figured out a way and a battery guy came to check my car this morning. E and the mechanic also talked about some Engineering stuffs which I could not be bothered at all since I was too anxious to wait for the car to start again. Thank God, everything is good now. 

When this happens, everybody knows that I could not handle the panic and I tend to be very reckless quickly. I even asked everyone if they got a pair of jumpers or not (you know the ones they use to transfer the positive and negative charges from one car to another, yeah that one). Like, not everyone here brings a car so they didn't have one. I also almost purchased a pair of them online because I really thought that was the only way. However, I came to my senses and realized that I really should call a mechanic to clear this mess. I even had a small fight with E about this too. See, very miserable. So girls, I know we tend to get out of mind when something like this happens. Everything does not go in your way. It's okay to be like that (because I do it too, often). But you need to calm yourself down first. Otherwise, you can't think straight and do stupid decisions instead. Seek help from a friend/person that you really trust. Well at least, to make a wise decision for you. When it happened to me, luckily, I got some friends with me. Even though we say crappy things most of the time, but they just know when to be serious at times like this. Relax, and remember that every problem must have a solution. After the mechanic finished his job, me and E went to get something to eat for breakfast. At the end of the day, we laughed about it and realized how insane I could be when handling such situations. So girls, be sane okay. 

Dayana

Phew, college.

Hello there.

So, I've been disappearing for months now. You must expect this coming from me okay. I never had, and never will have free time while I'm still in college. My schedule has been busy for these past few weeks. (more like packed with sleeping and eating, but hey I'm a college student okay. So if you are one, then you should understand). Phew, my writing has been rusty too. I am turning only 20 soon, where did the time go?

Moving on; by busy schedule, I really mean it. My college held so many events. So many. That I needed to join or at least came to support the event that college had organized. Also, one of them was under Accounting Club. Thank God, I was not one of the high committees or something. I am still amazed how they got everything under control. You would say that I am telling you a lie if I say that we never had hard times all the way through. We did. Never got the return call from the schools that we've invited. They didn't reply to our emails. Over budgeted costs. Many students couldn't join the event because they got to head home. You name it, everything just decided to happen at a time. Despite all the challenges, I learned something. I am pretty sure I will never forget these experiences once I have graduated soon. The people, the place. I must admit that my college life is never a college life that everyone ever dreamed to live in. But, as a former daily high school student like me, I am getting a bit of exposure of how the real world looks like. All in all, I am really glad that I met my classmates who have been wonderful company throughout my college life. Each of us is unique (well, still finding what touch of uniqueness do I have). Sometimes, I find my myself smiling just by looking at their characters every day. At least something to be smiled at despite having to do the questions to prepare Statement of Financial Position of a freaking company or do that integration in Maths.

Few weeks from now, I have a big examination coming on. A BIG ONE. That's the final examination before I get to fly off to study abroad, InsyaAllah. It almost comes to an end. I don't know how I should feel about this. But one thing for sure, I want to get it over with quickly. A-Levels is killing everyone. Well at least, me. How did Vivy Yusof manage to take A-Levels while taking SPM examination in the same year? That one successful woman with big company she's currently running and 2 wonderful kids to raise. One thing I see in her, determination. Even though she had achieved so many things, she still wants to achieve more and more. I guess she just can't sit still. I wonder how many hours of sleep does she take?

Wait, did I mention about the big examination I will take weeks from now? Oh damn, I should go now. Should open my books and start studying.. At least for 1 hour long.

Dayana